I had carefully assembled all my facts: Sex has to do with babies getting made, bellybuttons have to do with babies being in a lady’s tummy, french kissing with tongues has to do with sex, the sinful romance novels at the grocery store have to do with sex. Thanks to the sweeping popularity of this pose in 90s romance novel covers:
The conclusion was pretty obvious: Sex is when a man makes a baby by sticking his tongue in a lady’s bellybutton. CLEARLY.
- Me: Man, getting older sucks. I used to be able to stay up two days in a row without it killing me like this. Hell, back in high school I could stay up THREE days in a row.
- Brain: On speed. That was on speed.
- Me: Ohhhh yeaaaaah.
An altar call typically happens at the end of a service and it’s when the pastor invites anyone who needs to be saved to come down to the altar and be prayed with and accept Jesus into their hearts. In some denominations, this is simply an invitation for new visitors to become Christians. In others, the altar call is also a chance for existing members to make their repentance public if they’ve been sinning...what’s an altar call?
— If I had a dollar for every time I’ve said this I could afford more therapy.