Douchebag In The Rye. 
This is the first message this guy’s ever sent me and since my profile at no point ever mentions Caulfield or Catcher, I’m not sure what he’s on about unless he mistook me for a sexy dissertation committee.

Douchebag In The Rye. 

This is the first message this guy’s ever sent me and since my profile at no point ever mentions Caulfield or Catcher, I’m not sure what he’s on about unless he mistook me for a sexy dissertation committee.

How not to get hired by me (Megan’s first time conducting a job interview)

  • Know so little about the position that you think we are a juvenile detention center (we are a treatment center)
  • "Forget" to mention that your resume is not up to date and you’ve only been at your new job a month.
  • Complain for a full 10-15 minutes about every aspect of your current job that you hate.
  • Inform me that the wage stated clearly in the ad and in the phone interview is unacceptable and you need more money because you are 63 and this will be your last job before retirement.
  • Complain a lot about how your current job forces you to work with “twenty-something whippersnappers”, literally say this out loud. (75% of our staff are under 27)
  • Make three separate references to the untrustworthiness of Mexicans.
yodelmachine:


smartasshat:

luanneclatterbuck:

omgstopembarrassingyourself:

paulliveshere:

ariverisariver:

aatombomb:

micdotcom:

The favorite food of every U.S. state, according to Twitter 

Prune? WTF New York?

This map makes zero sense.

Oregon just puttin’ capers on everything. Capers bubble tea. Capers brownies. Capers noodle soup. Capers Skittles. Capers ‘n Chips.

Vinegar? How is that even an option.
VINEGAR.

YOLK?!?

I’m from New Hampshire. We call it “maize.”
Apparently?

grits grits grits grits grits tangerine grits


"yolk"

yodelmachine:

smartasshat:

luanneclatterbuck:

omgstopembarrassingyourself:

paulliveshere:

ariverisariver:

aatombomb:

micdotcom:

The favorite food of every U.S. state, according to Twitter 

Prune? WTF New York?

This map makes zero sense.

Oregon just puttin’ capers on everything. Capers bubble tea. Capers brownies. Capers noodle soup. Capers Skittles. Capers ‘n Chips.

Vinegar? How is that even an option.

VINEGAR.

YOLK?!?

I’m from New Hampshire. We call it “maize.”

Apparently?

grits
grits
grits
grits
grits
tangerine
grits

"yolk"

Xander went all hot-dad and I’m having very confusing emotions please send help

Xander went all hot-dad and I’m having very confusing emotions please send help

Okay, I would like everyone to stop and reference these posts about the level I operate on before I state that I got promoted to management, to supervisor of my entire shift.

I get my own office because someone in the universe does not consider that a surreal and laughable idea.  An office what the fuck is happening who thought this was a good idea.

gaminginyourunderwear:

slaysbelles:

jinn0uchi:

dendropsyche:

OKAY so i just saw the most ridiculous thing at the store today

so we come across this thing

image

and we discover you can turn it inside out and

image

image

image

ITS HELLO KITTY I’Mimage

image

image

HSE’S EVEN GOT HER OWN LITTLE CHICKEN DRUMSTICK IM SO DONE

why the fuck

image

Someone made this with GIR specifically in mind.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Fridays at 10!  I’m really fighting the urge to ask about stats and stuff, like are all missionaries white mages or clerics or what and how does the Bible say to handle random encounters.  Oh man I bet their screen names are fantastic.
weirdvintage:

A Genuine Mink Jock—an irresistible invitation to hard n’ heavy action!—1970s (via Vintage-Ads)

The mystique of mink where it matters most.  Does that say “ranch” as a color option?

weirdvintage:

A Genuine Mink Jock—an irresistible invitation to hard n’ heavy action!—1970s (via Vintage-Ads)

The mystique of mink where it matters most.  Does that say “ranch” as a color option?

jhenne-bean:

……….I mean if u say so seventeen mag

Excuse me Seventeen magazine my eight year old self demands restitution for these stolen fashion ideas.

jhenne-bean:

……….I mean if u say so seventeen mag

Excuse me Seventeen magazine my eight year old self demands restitution for these stolen fashion ideas.

(via woolywitch)

africancheewahwah:

theanti90smovement:

what does this even mean

i dont know but im printing it out and giving it to everyone i know

africancheewahwah:

theanti90smovement:

what does this even mean

i dont know but im printing it out and giving it to everyone i know

(via jollityfarm)